Cloudy and cool: fall is back. Think I’ll bake a pie.

I won’t lie, I am tired today after having to be a pleasant wifey-poo at the tailgating party and then the Twins game last night. And, I’m totally on decaf coffee, so that doesn’t help.

Besides, as I was unable to come up with the proper description of the tiredness that comes, I actually told someone that I’d hit them. I know. Go figure. She misunderstood my worry about getting too tired at the game and offered to tickle me if I got too tired. I wanted to nip that in the bud because it’s not a sleepy tired.  But I didn’t have to offer to do her harm.

So I had to think about the tiredness that comes and try to develop a short description of it. I came up with it: the tiredness is a bone weary tiredness.  Lying down someplace quiet  and resting is the only solution to the problem. I did put the seat back as far as it would go in the car and rest as Lance drove to Target Field. That did help.

Interestingly, sleeping is not always possible, you’re just too weary.

Also interesting, to me anyway, is that mental activity causes this, too. It takes a lot of energy for me to think.   I have tried to keep my brain alert by playing word games and Sudoku throughout this whole process. Sometimes, I can’t. It’s like my brain is resting and I can’t access the thoughts, words and ideas that I know are up there in the old noggin. Sometimes I keep slogging through, just to spite the condition.  It does make me sad, because I seem less than me.

And sometimes, I’m me, able to access those thoughts and words. It is better than it was. But, of course, I want it better yesterday.

That “coming up with short descriptions “has been a part of this process. There has been enough going on with the cancer treatment that people don’t know about or don’t understand. Short sweet descriptions are always handy. But in addition, I am still dealing with the lymphedema, and my knee and hip keep me from my old healthy stride on flat ground and ensure that I hobble up and down stairs. I’d like to be able to clap at games and concerts. I’d like to be able to not fear that the stairs at Gate 3 will eat up my energy.

The hip and knee problem are due to the hormone blocker Arimidex that I’m on for, now four more years.  The drug that keeps the hormones from starting any other cancers also makes your joints hurt.  Big time.  I talked with my oncology doc last week, and she said there are some new drugs that I could try.  So, I’m on the two weeks of no Arimidex to get it out of my system before I start  the new one. She did say the new one might have the same effect on my joints.

So, I am walking for exercise and I am trying to lose weight by eating better. Yeah, that worked well on vacation when I gained five more!

Goodness. I don’t know where that all came from! I’d better go on my walk and then go pull some rhubarb!

Have a wacky Wednesday!

Love yah,

Janet