Would You Rather Be Able to Fly or Be Invisible?

Merry Christmas Folks!

I was singing with Mahalia Jackson in the kitchen the other day. Remember her? She used to appear on the Ed Sullivan show, dressed in a choir robe to sing religious Christmas songs at this time of year. Other times of the year she might sing Gospel music. Sometimes she was backed by a choir, sometime she sang by herself with perhaps a stained glass lighting pattern on stage. And, boy could she sing.

Well, we were singing along on the Christmas tunes as I was making pretzel snowmen. Now, I know the pitfalls of making Christmas crafts and goodies as pictured on the front of the magazines at the grocery store checkouts. I learned when the kids were little that the so-called “Easy Christmas Crafts” and “Simple Christmas Treats” were often anything but. In fact the people who come up with these ideas and who make the perfect items featured on the covers are ARTISTS. Yep. talented people who can spend all day on these projects, because IT’S THEIR JOB!

Well, I tell you, Bob, that does make a difference.

Once I learned that, I stayed away from trying to create these perfections. Until this year when I saw one on Facebook that I thought looked simple enough to do.

Hahahaha! Nope.

The dipped pretzels that I decorated to look like snowmen ended up looking like zombies with ascots. Sometimes the eyes looked like cool shades, sometimes they looked like the three blind mice. I bought fruit rollups to cut into the scarves without knowing that they had dark printing on them. I had to cut around the printing or the snowman would have a dirty scarf. They had no mouths because the black tube of frosting I thought would work was too runny; pieces of coal for the grin was not possible. And the carrot noses were red because who has orange at this time of year?

The only thing that worked? the M&M earmuffs pushed into the coating before it hardened.

Oh yes, and at the beginning the coating burned twice even though I was carefully following directions.

So, it was a good thing I was singing with Mahalia and eating M&M’s. It saved the whole experience.

******New Recipe**********

That’s not to say that I haven’t tried a new recipe and had it work. I have and it’s a cranberry relish with horseradish in it. (!) But I heard about this one and wasn’t trying to make it look like a picture. Google it on NPR and I think you’ll find it. (If not, let me know and I’ll send it to you—-I am, after all, running a full service blog here 🙂 )

+++Co-Inky-Dink+++++++++++++

Or, in layman’s terms, a coincidence.

My MIL gave me two cd’s to listen to as I was recuperating from the knee replacement. Both were from P.D.Q. Bach and she knew I’d get a chuckle from the music humor. Since I was for quite some time upstairs and not in the sewing room, I was not close to a cd player. Weeks later, when I finally was comfortable in the recliner in the living room, I could play one of them. As I was listening, I was also doing a crossword puzzle.

When, lo and behold, one of the clues of the puzzle was, “P.D.Q. Bach’s ‘Sanka Cantata’ and such” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a coincidence!

After I had done as many as I could do on that page—it was a Best of Thursday NYTimes book which is right at the cusp of what I can solve—–I continued to the opposite page where

LO AND BEHOLD! Another co-inky-dink! The clue was “Nancy Lopez and Annika Sorenstam have each won this several times.” I had just done a word puzzle the night before that had Annika’s name in it. I used hints on it because I had never heard of her! And here she is the next day in my crossword puzzle! Where is Rod Serling making ironic statements when you need him!

*****Word Fun****

Crossword Clue: Perry’s Street

Answer: Della Hahaha!

Christmas Is Coming!

Yay! The tree is up with the squirt gun loaded as a cat preventative. Tell us how that’s working, Janet. Well, I will. Funny you should ask.

Katya Little Cat has the idea that she will get squirted if we catch her near the tree. The important words are “if we catch her” and “near.”

I have walked into the living room to hear her rustling five feet up in the tree. Now, technically, she figures she’s okay because a) we haven’t caught her and b) she’s not “near” the tree, she’s “in” it. As soon as I start priming the squirt gun( why oh why don’t they start shooting water at the first pull?) she hears that and scrambles down. And then stays away.

The other cat?

Buffy the Destroyer?

The One Who Swings from the Chandelier?

The One Who Used to Pull Down and Eat Fiberglass Insulation from the Laundry Room?

Yeah, She’ll keep running back under the tree even after getting squirted. But she waits until I get comfortable. Of course.

And she only does that when we’re sitting in the living room. Relaxing, talking.

Sigh.

There are no ornaments on the tree, just the lights that came with the tree. We’re taking it in stages. Last year we didn’t put up a tree because we weren’t going to be here. The year before I ended up taking all the breakable ornaments off the tree because Buffy’s favorite place to perch any time of the day was five feet up on a sticky pitchy branch.

That year we tried essential oils, orange peels, double sided tape on plastic spread under the tree and a motion sensored pouf of air. None of it worked.

I have seen decorated Christmas trees kept in cages to keep out the cats, but I don’t want to go that far. Anybody have any ideas?

I am hoping to write again before Christmas and so will share more Christmas memories then, but for right now, here’s a post I wrote about the Red Wing Christmas Concert in 1969:

Warning: old post to follow. It was my third post, from fall 2014. It’s a little preachy.

Today’s story is about the Christmas pageant that my high school put on when I was a senior.

Yep. 1970. How things have changed.

Of course, that was also the year that the review in the paper of the Red Wing High School Choir Concert contained a disparaging remark about the length of some boys’ hair. Seriously. For those of you who are too young to know what this meant, the reviewer thought that the boys’ hair was too long. Keep in mind it wasn’t Jared Leto long. it came past their ears. Just. And probably covered their foreheads. For those of you who remember this, WE HAVE LIVED THROUGH A LOT OF CHANGE!

Anyway, the powers that be decided that a Christmas choir pageant with different countries around the world represented by students in native dress would be the way to go in 1969.

Ummmm. The problem with this plan is that other than Native Americans, the only student of any color was the AFS student for that year. My senior year our AFS student was Leyla Er from Turkey. I can’t remember whether or not she was part of the program. I was too busy being a Mexican boy.

Yes, you read that right, a Mexican boy. Why a boy? Because I had short hair. Why a Mexican? Probably because I was in drama and band.

Band? BAND??? Yes, because I was not in choir. Remember, it was a choir concert. Stay with me, I know it can be confusing.

So, I was playing a Mexican boy. A friend of mine was the Native American chief, complete with original native headress. His name was Scott Anderson; he was also in drama and band. In fact , he was our kick a@@ drum major.

And, you guessed it, he was no more Native American than I was Mexican, or a boy. He at least got to play a gender accurate role.

I don’t know why one of the Native American boys or young men were not asked to do this. Maybe they were and didn’t want to. It remains a mystery to me.

Now, I haven’t ever talked with Scott about this, but we do have a reunion coming up and if I remember, I will. But, dressing up in what I thought a Mexican boy would wear and playing another country’s citizen was not anything that scarred me, and I doubt it hurt him either.

But what bothers me is that we considered it normal. And all the students who came to see it, because, of course we did an all school assembly, grades 7-12, they would have considered it normal as well.

Sterotypes abounded on that stage. And were cemented in memories/brains/psyches as accurate.

Wow. And we all vote now.

Education is the key. And so is travel. And talking to one another.

So we don’t put a white kid in a Native American headress and costume and ask him to dance around in a circle on the basketball court before the A team game every other Friday night. Just because our town’s name was Red Wing.

Yep. That happened, too.

Okay, that’s the end of the old post.

************

Now I just need to explain the title. I was at a dinner with friends and the hostess had put discussion cards under our plates. This was mine.